Dead or Alive (oh wow)

I grow up listening to the 80's band Dead or Alive and obviously my song was "You Spin Me Right Round" haha... Well as I got really older I stop listening to them cuz I got more into my rap music and 80's wasnt hip anymore.

Today, on my way home their song came on the radio so blasted it so loud in the car I got into it again (shocking I still know the words haha).


I went on youtube to look for their music video and I found the real video that was made in 1986 but... I saw that the band remade the song & video in 2003 its very shocking... cuz the lead singer Pete Burns had a sex change and he looks sooo horrible...


1986 he looked pretty back then why the ugly change?!!!!!
I love his hair I think I found my new hair style for 2010!!







2003 remake after the sex change its a tight video something that maybe I will direct in the future but 1000 times better and maybe a prettier tranny (hes scary lookin). I like this verison better cuz its more techno and I LOVE TECHNO!!!
lis





All day I tried calling some cd stores to find any album that has the newer verison and the old one but no luck =( so I looked on ebay still nothing not even on limewire or itunes. If any one can get it for me on a cd Ill very much appreciate it.

Who are they? That is the question...

Who made up all the rules?


Why do we follow them like fools?


Believe them to be true...


No care to think them threw...


I'm sorry...


So sorry...


I'm sorry it's like this...


I'm sorry...


So sorry...


I'm sorry we do this...






And it's ironic too cuz what we tend to do is act on what they say
and then it is that way...

I'm sorry...


So sorry...


I'm sorry it's like this...


I'm sorry...


So sorry...


I'm sorry we do this...


Who are they?


Where are they?


How can they possibly
Know all this?


Who are they?


Where are they?

How can they possibly
Know all this?





Do you see what I see?


Why do we live like this?


Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss?


I'm sorry...


So sorry...


I'm sorry it's like this...


Do you see what I see?


Why do we live like this?


Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss?

Who are they?


Where are they?


How can they
Know all this?


I'm sorry...


So sorry...
I'm sorry we do this ....

I... I..LL..O...VE... YOU!!! <3

Dont you just hate it when your words dont come out the way you want them to? It sucks huh?



Damn... If only I had tha guts to tell you.... or show you....

its weird how one person can make you so crazy...

Theres times when I jump in the middle of the night cuz I think you're watching me...
ehh.. but thats just me Im just weird like that...
for months Ive tried to be your picture perfect girl but til this day you're still living in
your own fantasy world...

Im gonna talk bout one night... me and my friends were at a really wild party
6 of us went most of them got really drunk but whole night I wasnt really in to it
like normal I had someone in my mind that kept me detracted from everything
like I wouldnt dance,drink,smoke, or talk I just sat there alone...

I dont know if that was just me starting to really grow up or something else.
This just happened this friday
for me not to drink or smoke theres something wrong with me!! This person has been detracting me on alot of things... That night was so bad that I left early but I didnt go home I stayed out all night for 12 hours at a park thinking but what will that do... all it did was get me grounded.



Love does the weirdest shit to you and can make you do or say stupid shit
when I walk away I always ask myself "damn why the fuck did I just say that?"

I hate that you make me stubble and get me hella crazy....

I may not be living a happy life rite now but least you're my reason to smile...
and I'd rather die than stay away from you...


Right now I feel like Im walking on air Im higher than heaven its outta this earth...
I dont wanna come down thoe.

If this world does come to an end...
I will use my last breath by telling you

I... I..LL..O...VE... YOU!!!

I ARE U FUCKIN SERIOUS!!!!!!

HAHAHAAHAHHA K normaly Im not that big of a bitch to talk shit bout people BUT THIS SHIT IS PRETTY GREAT!!!!

So I know this one guy whos will be nameless is so sprung off this one brod for like hella long but shes hella far... well anyways! A couple months ago I tried to go on her myspace but it was set private I saw her profile picture and from that she kinda looked pretty... well you really couldnt tell cuz her pic had effect so all that time I kept getting a lil worried cuz I thought she was prettier than me but last night changed it all!!!!!!!

I stayed up all night on myspace to see if I can track down a really good picture of her yea I saw one of her close up but you couldnt see her face cuz she was at the side than finally I found one!!!!

OMG my jaw hit the floor SHES UGLY AS FUCK!!! Im not just saying that to sound like a hater cuz thats not me Ill admit if she was pretty but she aint!!!

I laught so hard that I cried and my head was starting to hurt I saved that pic I sent it to falisaty. Me & silvia couldnt get over it, it was to damn funny cuz this guy made her sound like she was janet jackson or somthing HHAHA more like freddie jackson.

All this time I kept talking down on myself when this bitch is hella ugly
she looks like a way uglier verison of the red head lindsay lohan.

Damn no wonder Im not the chosen one cuz he has a bad ass ugly taste
all ugly bitches thats to bad Im the pretty one...
Out of all those girl
Girl #1. looks like a red headed hill billie
Girl #2. talks & looks like a man
Girl #3. fat looks white trash and
missing a few inches

I guess ugly is the new beautiful...

I dont give a fuck if Im down talking all these ass looking brods
cuz now I know what I have that these ugly bitch dont...
1.I get my hair done
2.I get my neils done
3. I have the best fashion style
4. I get my makeup done by M.A.C
5, I might sound like a bitch now
and other times but really Im a sweetheart
no lie.
6. I have the most gorgeous green eyez
for being mexican
7. I dont want an anorexic body cuz I love my
booty and my C cup boobs but I do watch what I eat and
I workout daily I worry bout health.
8.Perfect teeth!!!
9. I get my eyebrows done every 2 weeks
10.tanning skin is getting there
11. Im acne free cuz I use creams
12. love to have fun im never boring
13. 5'5 perfect size
14.100% honest

So I know damn well Im better looking than all these brods!!!
I have alot guys right now that want to go out with me but
I turn them down cuz of a special someone in my life...

Im 10000% unique no one can do it like me!!!!!

Why?

I went to a shrink to talk about him... he was still stuck in my brain like a lustfull tumor. I was mad at him for what he did to me but god damn it, I cant stop myself from loving him. Hes there in the corner of my eye. Where theres no one in the room I can see him staring at me, but all thats there is a red stain from a junky who was too much in a hurry to use a rubber tube. After speaking to the shrink she wanted his number. I looked at her and I gave her some advice of my own. As I walked out hes was stuck in my head. Why, Why was I there? Why did I think he could love some one like me? The eyes of innocense placed on the body of temptation. Deep in thought I saw another figure of him on the passing side of the side walk. I looked to hopefully see a news stand or a poster of an underground band who would only be broken up by an asian girl named yoko (kind of a grimey place for a beatles joke). But i didnt see a poster, or a news stand. I saw him. I just said his name and he looked at me and all he had to say was hi. I fell in love with him again. I help back the anger and the tears. He had no idea what ive been threw or nore would he care. I saw a girl at the top of the sidewalk calling his name and he stood there and looked at her with such grace. I could hold both back anymore i just walked away. Thats all I could do. Hes stuck there, here in my mind.

To say my goodbyes..

Im very much on my last leg...

I dont have much anymore take the rest cuz I DONT NEED IT!!!

Why I ask? What did I do to deserve such pain?

Beat me to death! Beat me til I have no air...

Let me drown, Im making things better for u

I dont matter to you

Why act like you care?

I hate goodbyes...

Honey, just shoot me!!!!

Hate me!!! I beg of you ...

Cut your name across my heart...

My skin rips slowly

I want to see my blood

I smell burt razer blade with my blood on the corner

IM DEAD TO YOU!!!

tell them that I am dead...

I gave my heart & soul...

so when you wake up

one morning and Im not there or alive

JUST REMEMBER

i loved u things will never be the same....

Dropping out

So it seems that Im not graduating all my fuckin hard work for nothing I wasted my time doing summer school & night school. By next term I probably wont come back. None of my family members ever finished high school I thought I was gonna beat that and be the first. I already talked to my parents about it cause I got a letter today saying Im near failing I can make it up but it still wont give me credits that I need.

I had great 4 years at Sierra and I wish I couldve made it to graduation but now theres no point in me staying. =:(...

Cry now... laugh later...

Fuck, why do I always feel this way?? I cry more than I laugh... I wish I can run as fast as I can to the middle of no where. inside I feel like a raped victim being used many times and left somewhere to die after they were done with me...

I think I hate myself more than I hate life... I hate the person I see staring at me in the mirror. I always use to call my life "The Girl Without A Face" what it means is without a beautiful face and someone whos very unhappy...

I wish I can live my life my way but that will never happen I see myself in that "Tiny Box" again all I wanna do is hide from this fucked up world and be somewhere that no one can find me (like anyone would care). Ima small animal thats been beaten too many times. I just cant help... I dont understand...

The Girl Without A Face... Ill let her talk... I dont feel beautiful, I dont that Im good enough, I dont feel that Im worth living.

I kick & scream but no one hears me sometimes I even pull my hair... One day a teacher made me look in a mirror and say "Im beautiful" all I did was cry so I fight with myself I got the bruses to prove it.

Am I loved?? The biggest question I wanna ask... People say they love me but do they mean it?

I dont trust anybody but there is only one person in my life I trust and believe everything he saids.

I wanna be someone else... I wanna be that gorgeous girl that everyone wants to be around... not the ugly girl every guy rejects for someone more beautiful...

Paranormal Activity

DO NOT SEE IT!!!!!!!! yestarday night I went to see it with my crue and honestly Ive never been so scared in my life I cried & pissed myself. The only reason why I saw it cuz I heard from hella ppl that it was gay so I wanted to see it for myself the whole night lots of ppl were screaming some even ran outta the room before it was over. Me & my friends did not like I saw all of them get scared like never before me & my guy friend huged eachother with a sweater over our faces thats how bad it was. I love horror movies and they never scare me but this I admit it scared the fuck outta me on my way home my hands were still shaking. Last night was so bad me and my friends were all on 10 way calling cuz we couldnt sleep I had to sleep with the lights on with my sister next to me. Im not staying home alone for a while.

FAKE ASS NIGGAHZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna know why the fuck guys feel like they can do whatever the fuck they want!!! Who the fuck do they think they is???? You guys dont understand the painful bullshit that you make us go threw! You all think its okay that you can lie,cheat and use us? and treat us like shit? Wtf!!! I bet if us girl did 2 you all the same its all different huh?? Me & Falisaty had a talked earlier bout this subject it comes to find out all guys are fuckin FAKE!!!!! Sometimes I wish that one day guys can trade places with us so they can know how it feels. I really cant believe how some niggahz think its okay to hurt us. We girls do so much for them like doin our make up and honestly I hate wearin it buh I feel like I have to cuz of them, we also fix our hair everyday I have to straighted hair cuz its national cruled and main part that gets me is most girls dress like whores to get you guys to notice them Im gonna say I do not dress like a slut to get a guy to look at me Im very boyish I like jeans better then skirt or whore shorts. I think girls are better off single cuz guyz are nothin buh fake ass playaz that only tell you what you wanna hear and they'll never change.

Animal cruelty

Each year over 100,000 animals are abused and neglected some are left to die today animals are still suffering.

I am an animal saver supporter and my group needs more to save these poor animals.

Im not really a meat eater cuz honestly I think its wrong an animal should NOT be used as food. I cant stand the way how these animals are being treated


This videos are hard to watch even for me cuz I have dogs myself and I grew up with alot of animals.





PLEASE HELP STOP THIS MADNESS!!!!

The Beatles rock band!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its awesome!!!!!! Me & my sister played it for 5 hours now my hands hurt but this friday Im having a rock band party to play rock band & guitar hero yall should come!!!

WTF!!!??

I wanna know what the fuck is everyones problem!!!! Theres so much fuckin shit goin on I just feel like kickin someones ass!! At my school I hang out with a huge group of friends and lately they been trippin off me its like hella people are mad at me Im like "what the fuck did I do?" I swear you guys got fuckin issues!!! And if anyones gonna be a bitch with me oh believe me I can be a bigger bitch back!! So if your pissed off at me for what ever the fuck reason come talk to me about it so I can understand but if your mad at me for something stupid then your retarded cause I already have some one mad me because of something stupid. Come on now dont cha think its time for all you to fuckin grow up and dont get all pissy over shit thats retarded. Honestly I dont even know what the fuck I did in the first place for everyone to act like they got something up their asses...


Please!!!!! If theres something I did that got you pissed off at me PLEASE!!!!!! give me a call, text, or e-mail and tell me about it cause I really dont want this shit I gotta enough fuckin drama in my life dealin with my fams bullshit but if you just wanna stay being bitch then fine, FUCK YOU!!! Love me or hate me and Im not gonna fuckin kiss anyones ass! If I hear anyone talkin shit bout me Im gonna say rite now start shutin your mouth Im tryin to be nice and reason this out so dont make it hard for me...

I'd rather just talk things out.


This is my e-mail drop me something please...
mzfreakluvzu@yahoo.com

Echo/The ones in front of you prt 2

In this blog Im gonna clearly speak my mind and be very honest this is a subject that fuckin bugs the fuck outta me. Theres always gonna be a certain person in your life that you say cant get over... yea I can understand if your hurting but if that person left like hella long ago come on now fuckin get over it!!!! And dont fuckin try to say its love cause hone let me say this if it was meant to be that person would've came back to you by now!!!! Why cant anybody get that threw their fuckin head?!! So dont waste your life trying to fuckin wait for person cause believe me its never gonna happen!!! Im gonna explain what you people are doing... your putting your life on pause til that person comes back but that person has their life on play their moving on with someone else and forgetting all about you... yea Im gonna be honest I wasted soo much of my time waiting for my ex and guess what it never happened he found someone else!!!! So you people need to get a fuckin life!!!! Your only hurting yourself why cant you see that?! Let go of your stupid past... Its in the past and thats where it will stay life is too short to sit & wait. Move on enjoy your life as it comes to you and like I sent in a text message someone new will anyways come along or who knows they could be right in front of you but if you push them away your doing all this shit to yourself. Im gonna admit theres someone in my life Im crazy about and I feel big connections with but he feels different things. Sooner or later if you keep up the way your acting you will be hearing your own echo... Cause theres no one to hear you.

Its clear that some people after reading this are upset but I think its more cause its the truth... oh well truth hurts..

hear a song for this blog

dayz go by....

if yo not a dance person den you shouldnt listen to dis buh if u r den enjoy... it makes u wanna dance... Ma favorite techno!! want more of da best music? check ouy ma myspace playlist on ma page i added new tracks there great!!!

Someone gets it!!!!! Thanks Angelina!!!

My friend Angelina wrote this blog on myspace honestly there are some parts I argee with her on cause I some what feel the same way...

By Angelina
a lot of people have been asking me what i believe in lately. ill try to make it as easy to understand but it might be hard :] ... mkay to start off i dont believe in god or the devil i dont believe in hevean or hell. im not an atheist though.. in fact i dont believe in life to me everything is just a big dream or a hallusination, or a nightmare there are ONLY two words for me that describes "life" that is: IRONY AND RIDICULOUSE. (really think about that! b/c its hella true!) Now i dont beleive in that shit that we evolved from monkeys either because... thats just kinda ridiculouse.

the reason why i dont believe in god is simply the fact that if there really is a god then why do b/c get raped and murdered and hurt everyday? most people would say "god is testing you" but how could he let something soo horrible happen to someone why do people kill themselves shouldnt have god be there to help them? and other people would say " well theres also evil(or the "devil"). we are the evil we are our own "god" we are all evil every person in this enitre world has done something evil, we also our god, if youve ever been through something bad yes there is always a friend or someone to help you. but most of the time its you who fights your way out of that terrible thing. another reason why i dont believe in the "devil" or "god" is because "WHEN A MYTH IS SHARED BY A LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE, IT BECOMES A REALITY"-Motto of britains circlemakers] People made up all this shit about god and the devil and eventually people just followed along. just because thats how people are.

i hate religion because if god does exist why cant you just do what you want to do and why cant he just exept you for that. why must he judge you?you shouldnt have to be told how to act what to eat how to dress. its ridiculouse!!!!

another thing if you cant find beauty in life find beauty in something else, my thing is music. music is beautiful and i dont neccisarly mean that music is "god" but it is in a way i cant explain.

another thing stop thinking about what happens after "life". life is just as mysteriouse as death. and if anything death must be more peacful than this place. just enjoy your "time" here and dont waste your time on sad shit and drama and money and success b/c it will not matter in the end!!!

Hate 4 u

God where should I start? Joseph Vasquez the ex of mine... 9/21/07 was the day he took my heart we were together for 9 months but threw out our relationship he cheated on me so many times it got me to a point where I stop trusting him yeah me & him broke up at time but like a dumb ass I would always take him back. At that time I was so in love with him and told me that he loved me too but guess not... at first we hella connected because we both went threw the same fucked up shit while growing up. The day he broke up with me he killed me 4ever out of no where he kissed another girl in front of me and told me it was over... that did it... I remember throwing up so many times that whole month and there was never a day I stoped crying hes the reason why I tried pointing a gun to my head and cut my arm in the shower. I was so hurt and pissed one day I came to school so fuckin drunk cause I didnt wanna go to class crying. Whats more fucked is til this day hes still with that girl they been together for 2 years and fucking treats her rite he saids hes so in love with her it kills me still. The way he treated me and what he did to me it still hurts me. I seriously hate him 2 weeks ago I did that made me feel so much better me & my sister were at the video store we saw him with his girlfriend that pissed me off so I went outside took cool down and I saw his car parked in the middle of the street to I grabed my sisters keys I started the car and I backed up my sisters truck into his honda hella hard twice so hard I drove it outta the parking lot. I steped out of the car and saw how badly his car was fucked up I just started hella laughing my sister runs outs and grabs me ,pushes me in the car and took off hella fast. Shes screaming at me telling me "what the fuck is wrong with you!!!" Honestly I dont know what came over me I would never do anything like that I guess I was so pissed off for what he ever did to me. Well lucky I didnt get caught cause Im start enough to take off my sisters plates but Im not doing that ever again.
I hate you joseph!! I hate that you put me threw alot of hell I cant believe that I was gonna give it up to you thank god I didnt!! FUCK YOU

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I fuckin feel like puttin a bullet threw my head!!!! I cant take this shit no more!! Im goin back 2 my weed I dont give a fuck wat anyone saids!!! If it kills me GOOD!!! Better 4 everyone!! I'll even do some meth 2 make it faster 4 all of you that want me dead!!

Forever & Alwayz

Before I started writing I couldnt think of a good title so I thought of this song my sister Falisaty had on her myspace page would be good.

Okay as everyones knows threw out the whole summer Ive been really stressed out. Ive been out alot with my friends its all good but threw out those whole times I could never enjoy myself cause Ive been so stressed and my reason for being that way cause theres this person in my life at the moment that I really care about Im having second thoughts about him... I really dont know what I want anymore its gotten so bad when I was at the mall with my friends I left to go in the car and cry but I had my sister to calm me down. A few days later I felt better I had no feelings about it what so ever I honestly think this a good thing cause I dont need all that in my life again Im better then that. Im not gonna stand there and wait for the batular to pick me out of the other girl Ill leave on my own and Ill take that rose from him with my head high haha. The clock is ticking and theres no time for me to wait Ill have my own shot at love!!

We are the world

Best song ever!! I cant wait to perform this song at the big NYC choir in the fall of next year!!!

Blame

Im sorry for the wrongs thing I ever done... all the pain thats inside me so please let me apologize for being me cuz its a shame on me... Im not blind to see theres a problem. Even thoe the blames on you Ill take that blame from you... I have alot of blames and faults this is one I have to agree on. Why? I ask, why should it be this way? Well Im sorry Im not that perfect one Ill be the reason for your pain and the reason for your fault. Place blame on me

Sorry, blame it on me - Sophannara

Hurt

Okay I am sad & upset at the moment... I was at a dance studio today with my sister and some of her friends around 9:40 they wanted to leave. Silvia asked me if I was coming I looked at her and I told her no that I was gonna hang out by myself for a while after she left I threw myself on the floor and I just had a break down. I have so much going threw my head that its stressing me out so badly. For whole summer all my friends been doing is calling me about retarded ass drama that I really dont wanna hear stressful enough and to make matters worst a couple weeks I got an email about the person I like that he did something hurtful honestly that got me real agery so ended up threwing my phone at the wall cuz I read my emails threw it now its broken in 2 pieces I need a new one. Not only that I smacked everything off my sisters kitchen table now all her glass dishes are broken. Im very short tempered and when Im drunk its worst cuz when Im sober Ill throw objects and when Im drunk Ill actually put my hands on you but Im working on fixing that. Next week Im going in to anger management to change for the better. Im also sad cuz I dont know what to do with myself Im trying to change but what it doesnt work? In the past I had problem of cutting myself on my arm & legs when I was stressed and sometimes I get feelings on wanting to do it but if I do I pull on rubber strings it helps a little...
hurtful pain will heel I hope.

The ones that are there in front of you...

Today in P.E I sat out during soccer and I was sitting next to a girl in my class that hardly talk to, we were talking about our past love lives and the people we love now. For some reason I couldnt help but get emotional cause I was telling her about what Im going threw at the moment with someone. I kinda let her put some sence in my head about it after telling her the whole story she told me a line that I cant forget "Isn't it ironic? We ignore those who adore us. Adore those who ignore us. Hurt those who love us and Love those who hurt us?" I honestly agree with it but like I told her I dont see the point of trying if it doesnt get you anywhere... as much as I like the person theres really nothing I can do...

To be continued...

Summer hehe

Well so far this has been the best summer ever!! I honestly thought that summer school was gonna fuck it up for me but its made it better. Im taking P.E its so much fun and I honestly hate P.E I dont know what makes fun this time I guess because its a lil different. I met so many new friends in that class even my best guy friend is there with me and we're all just foolin around haha. 4th of July was great I finelly got to spen time with my cousins who I havent seen in years and we got in trouble like old times. I also got my tongue pierced didnt really hurt as much as I was told more like a rush. So in 2 weeks Im getting ready to take my senior pictures what stress but next week Im going to Great America with my sister Falisaty I cant wait it should be fun.

Mi Vida Loca

This is one of the best movies ever!!! Reminds me more of what I've seen while growing up... some of my famliy were in a gang of nortenos and there was a time I banged red & the 14 but I dont anymore. This movie makes me appreciate being mexican

You're not alone

Im here with you... dont you see that? I wanna help but I think I need to help myself before I help someone else. As much as I want to leave I cant... I cant leave you here I dont wanna say good bye to you yet like I said I'd rather die then stay away from you. I can tell in your eyes you need me as much as I need you, cant deny that and yeah I know its all hell now but gets better then you know... in a dream last night I thought I heard you calling me if you say those three words Ill come running. Dont ever think that you're left alone no matter what Im always here... Im never gonna leave cause I dont have the heart to. Because of you I finelly see the full new moon as I sit there watching it I get a vibe of you around me like if you're there next to me and I hope to see that moon more often.

In my tiny box!!

I love playing in my tiny box... but I think being in that box kinda took over my life. Til this day Im still in it and the world goes by faster... I out grown my box and I need to come out of it I just dont know how... honestly Im afraid cause if do come out what if my life goes by twice as faster? I dont know what Im gonna do my fear is growing up to fast Im not getting any younger and time is going by so quickly it doesnt wait for you as much as you want it to. Im not ready to grow up yet I love being the crazy,wild,retarded teenager that I am. Even thoe I had a fucked childhood Im trying to make the best out of my life now. If could stay in my box I would but its getting too small for me and theres no bigger box but Ill sleep in it for now but I need you there with me...

R.I.P Michael Jackson

The beloved king of pop Michael Jackson died today of cardiac arrest tooken to the hospitol in a coma. Im hella sad cause Im a huge fan believe it or not I hella cried. When I found out me & my sister were in Mcdonalds at Wal-mart some weird random guy came up to us and said Michael Jackson died. Me & my sister looked at eachother like "what?" so she went on the web on her phone we were both like oh my god and started busting in tears. The king of pop will be missed and always remebered he was supposed to be making a come back in London it wouldve been a great show. Died at age 50 the golden heart stop beating...
Thriller & Off The Wall, best albums ever!!


Rest in peace Michael Jackson 1958-2009

Full moon

When the thorn bush turns white thats when I'll come home,I am going out to see what I can sow, and I don't know where I'll go, but I don't know what I'll see, but I'll try not to bring it back home with me. Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me, as you watch me wander, curse the power that be, cause all I want is here and now, but its already been and gone, our attentions always last that bit too long. In the Full moon's light I listen to the stream, and in between the sounds I still hear you calling me... but I don't know where I am, and I don't trust who I've been, and if I come home how will I ever leave? In the new life of love we will see the New Moon...

Teens & Sex

Okay BIG subject. I dont understand why all these little tiny bopper think its okay to be having sex when they are just teenagers in high school. I mean if you been in a serious relationship for a while and that person really loves you then maybe but if your gonna fuck then be fucking smart about it!! Another thing dont just go off having sex cause everyone else is doing it that is the most stupidest shit ever!!! If I told you to jump off a cliff cause everyone else is doing it would you do it? Come on where are the fucking brains here??! Doesnt everyone know how to keep themselves safe? Fucking HIV aids and other STDs are serious but you little tiny boppers out there think its a joke I have a famliy member suffering with aids right now and my famliy is scared for him its no joke would you wanna go threw that? Honestly I think its better to wait cause once you lose your virginitiy its gone and your never getting it back then in years later it turns into a big regret unless you marry that person you lost it to. Not just STDs that be serious theres also pregnancy. Okay another thing that gets me hella teen girls now a days are getting pregnant with no fucking job their baby daddys always end up leaving so now you got baby mama drama. What I fucking cant stand the most is girls on welfare to get on welfare the pregnant girl has to say she dont know who her baby daddy is and that just makes her look like a big ass ho. All these girls think is so easy taking care of a child well news flash its not its tiering my sister was 18 when she got pregnant and it was hard for her. I mean you guys are teenagers here HELLO!! Do you really wanna be a young parent? But like I said its better to wait then regret it...



Take this advice dont have sex cause you will get pregnant and die!!!!!!! NO Im hella joking you wont die haha!

What sucks

Its sucks when you like someone but there your friend and they only see you as a friend. Its sucks that there hella different then make you feel like your on a roller coaster and your doin like 50 loops in 30 sec. What else sucks is you cant tell them cause you think you might scare them off or sometimes if you do it fucks things up and I already fucked up by telling you. I hate that I stubble over my word when Im with you....I hate that you make me so sad but I still want you around..FUCK I wished you loved me!!!

We are the war

As I scrutinize every word, memorize every line I spit it once, refuel, re-energize and rewind I give sight to the blind, my insight through the mind I exercise my right to express when I feel it's time It's just all in your mind, what you interpret it a sI say to fight, you take it as I'm ma whip someone's ass If you don't understand, don't even bother to ask A girl who has grown up with a parentless past Who has blown up now to rap phenomenon that has Or at least shows no difficulty multi-task And in juggling both perhaps mastered his craft Slash entrepreneur who has helped launch a few more rap acts Who's had a few obstacles thrown his way through the last half Of his career typical manure moving past that Mr. kisses ass crack, he's a class act Rubber band man, yea he just snaps back Come along follow me as I lead through the darkness As I provide just enough spark that we need to proceed Carry on, give me hope, give me strength Come with me and I won't steer you wrong Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog To the light at the end of the tunnel We gonna fight, we gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march Through the swamp, we gonna mosh through the marsh Take us right through the doors All the people up top on the side and the middle Come together lets all bomb and swamp just a little Just let it gradually build from the front to the back All you can see is a sea of people some white and some black Don't matter what color, all that matters we gathered together To celebrate for the same cause don't matter the weather If it rains let it rain, yea the wetter the better They ain't gonna stop us they can't, we stronger now more than ever They tell us no we say yea, they tell us stop we say go Rebel with a rebel yell, raise hell we gonna let em know Stomp, push, shove, mush until they bring our troops home Imagine it pouring, it's raining down on us Mosh pits outside the oval office Someone's tryina tell us something, Maybe this is God just sayin' we're responsible For this monster, this coward,That we have empowered This is Bin Laden, look at his head noddin How could we allow something like this without pumping our fists Now this is our final hour Let me be the voice in your strength and your choice Let me simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise Try to amplify the times it, and multiply by six...Teen million people, Are equal at this high pitch Maybe we can reach alqueda through my speech Let the president answer a higher anarchy let him go, fight his own war Let him impress daddy that way No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our own soil No more psychological warfare, to trick us to thinking that we ain't loyalIf we don't serve our own country, we're patronizing a hero Look in his eyes its all lies The stars and stripes, they've been swiped, washed out and wiped And replaced with his own face, Mosh now or dieIf I get sniped tonight you know why,Cause I told you to fight.And as we proceed,To Mosh through this desert storm,In these closing statements, if they should argue Let us beg to differ As we set aside our differences And assemble our own army To disarm this Weapon of Mass Destruction That we call our President, for the present And Mosh for the future of our next generation To speak and be heard Mr. President, Mr. Senator Do you guy's hear us????!!!!

Knowing the facts

Okay today I feel very bothered on another web site I posted something that upseted some lady about 37 years old. She sent me a very interesting comment she told me that Im a very angery person and should learn to respect others. Okay Im not gonna say that she was a bitch but in a way I agree with her if anybody Im the bitch. Its true I do have alot of anger in me but one thing for sure I do respect others I was rised better then that cause I know my grandma did not rise me to be rude and disrespectful even thoe I dont live with her anymore Im still very respectful. I need all you people to understand what its been like for me and why Im like this. My grandparents rised me & my cousins for a couple years but Im living with my parents now. While growing up in Oakland it was like everyday was a war for me I got kicked out if my old middle school cause of a bad fight between me and this girl. Two of my best friends were shot and killed. As I lived there in my old street there was never a day where I didnt have trouble with someone. At age 15 I finelly moved to Lathrop for better living even thoes its small its better then where I grew up. I am now 18 years old and about to be a senior in my high school I hang with good people and trying my best to stay out trouble. But sadly my past still til this day haunts me and what Ive told you is only half of it. I think my problem is that I always try to blame the world for what happens I dont mean to be that way and by me saying all the time "fuck life" it doesnt really make me feel better. Sure, yea, I still go threw fucked up shit now. There was point in my life where I stoped believing in god cause I was very angery and I had no one to blame but him I see it different now. I really hope to feel better but as long as my past stays here I doubt it will go away. Its pain of lost Im going threw and Im still praying for my miracle hoping my life will change so I can finelly be a happy person.

If I offended anyone for any thing Ive ever written on any web page Im very sorry and if it takes me to delete it I will but please let me know in a respectful manner I love all yall and would never say anything to upset you! Theresa Babee* givin sum love and hopin to get love back haha

My new rap!!!!! (Thug Story)

Mizzy freak & Mike Jones!! Im like 5 foot 4 black hair 2 da floor yo shawtyz nevea thought I'd dream bout rappin hard core no I aint gotta gun buh Im alwayz at da club still live wit ma parents buh Im still a thug Im so gangsta u see me hustlin at nite wen Im out clubin Id be shinnin da lite. Mizzy Freak & Mike Jones rappin on da same track its a thug story tell me can u handle dat!!! I had a dream last nite I had high top Nikes, I had diamonds in ma mouth and diamonds on ma mic by da time I woke I was singin "Im on da roll" cuz ima young star rapper straight 2 da top yo!! U can call me Mizzy freak now Ima rap star! Bitch u dnt wanna fight me!!! In ma big ass white-t!! Its a thug story can u gimme dat! Wat! Wat! I wear big ass sweaters yo!! Wat! Wat! dnt test me bitch!!!! U dont wanna fight me!! In ma big ass white-t!! Bitch its a thug story can u handle dat!!




Haha I made this up myself took me a while I hope to really have this a track one day. If I do better buy it!! Ill be the best rapper out there!! What do you think?

The pain of lost... FUCK LIFE!!

As I sit there... Every morning after I wake up I open my window and cant help but stare outside alot goes threw my head at that moment. I really can not fucking stand one more minute if this shit. As much as I fucking hate life I learn to deal with but theres only so much I can take. Sometimes if I could I would I'll fucking stick my middle finger to this world, it needs a good FUCK YOU!! Ive been threw so much fucked up shit while growing up and people think its just me being a bitch that maybe part of the reason but if all you can understand what I went threw youll get off my ass!!! I grew up in the ghetto ass hood where people died on the streets everyday. I think about my life with my face down cause shit like this took so many of my people so I should hate the hood. I dont understand how people go threw shit in there lives and try to act like nothings wrong as much as I try to forget it stays here. So when I wake up day after day I think about my friends, famliy,and my childhood. Is this it??? I ask to myself whats the whole point in this so called "life" why does everyone saids that the fucked up things is life? NO!! Thats just called a fucked up life cause if thats life no wonder why so many people in this world are unhappy like me I am the most unhappy bitchy person ever. One day I heard this song that got me real hard and the video was harder "Hold on" by Good Charlotte it gave me a different look on how I saw things but not how I feel on life. This world is retarded and life is full of shit. Take some advice from the poor the ghetto ass troublemaker. Why are we fighting to live if we're just living to die??-Tupac

Psychic Believing

Uhh well it all started me & my sister went to Berkley a couple nights ago and we went to a weird looking lady that saids that shes a "mind reader" or "psychic" something like that but anyways I had her read me, while rubbing my arms she started crying. As I sat there wondering why she told me that my soul is dark and very unhealthy because of all the grudges I hold in my life. I was already freaked out because before I walked in she gave a strange look. That night me & my sister drove home with very awkward silence she did not look at me once and all Im thinking is "what the hell did I do?". Days later as I sit in the class room I wrote down everytime I was upset and the people Im angery at what a notebook I made I couldnt believe it. 2 nights ago I went to that lady again (by myself this time) I had her read me again and sadly it was the same but found something new in me she knew I was in love but had something interesting to say about it. The first thing she told me was that she sees 2 children from me & him. After I heard that I stoped her in the middle of all of it I was like "wo hold up too much". Honestly Im a big believer in psychics but what she told me blew me away and left me speachless. She said nothing about marriage first thing she told me was children so I got up in a hurry to leave but she wanted me to stay cuz she needed to tell me more that I need to know. I sat there thinking to myself "I do not like what Im hearing". Some were good and some were bad. In a way Im kinda having my doubts about the whole thing but since then Ive been having weird dreams about it but what scared the hell out of me was she said either way my future cant be change... "wow" thats all I had to say. Very creepy...

Beautiful? You decide...

Umm... wow, well Ive never really thought of myself beautiful (being honest). I feel a little uneasy this is kinda new for me never in my life was I told that... maybe its the pictures but I know for a fact that cant be me. I honestly think its retarded just cuz I take one good picture now at the moment Im pretty to everyone, so I guess its different in person right?? Thats the most stupid shit ever!! People should be liked for who they are not how they look... if looks are all you care about then FUCK YOU!!! And Im so fucking sorry that Im not good enough to hang with!! People shouldnt be treated like that we're all fucking humen. I try my best not to use the word "ugly" in my book cuz all my life Ive been called that and it hurts for people that dont understand it does effect us. Whats more fucked up is back then there were guys that never wanted me but now that Ive gotten a little prettier cuz Im older now they're all on me? I cant tell you how much people like that pisses me off. Everyone should be treated the same not like fucking shit because of how you look. So you know what for now on Im just gonna let everyone decide on whats beautiful and whats not cuz it seems like thats what all people love doing putting other down. Only god can judge me and I am me!! Im not gonna change cuz you want me to rather you like it or not Im beautiful no matter what you say!!!! I honestly think everyones beautiful, sexy, nice in their own way. Dont ever let stupid people tell you wrong cuz only god can judge you and if people wanna judge you cuz how you look then fuck them you dont need them. Just be happy for who you are and be happy for the good friends you have that dont judge you. Believe me those stupid people think they're hot shit now just watch in 5 years when karma hits them. 2 all my pplz u'z all sexy!!!

Karma

You spend your nights alone and she never comes home and everytime you call her, all you get is a busy tone I heard you found out that she's doing to you what you did to me ain't that the way it goes when you cheated, boy my heart bleeded, boy So it go without saying that should let the feeling hurt just a classic case scenario tale as old as time boy, you got what you deserved and now you want somebody to cure the lonely nights you wish you had somebody that could come and make it right but boy, I ain't somebody I'm out of sympathy see... what goes around comes back around

Mz Brightside (my situation with him at the moment)

I'm coming out of my cage and Ive been doing just gotta be down because I want it all It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this it was only a kiss. Now Im falling asleep and shes calling a cab While hes having a smoke and shes taking a drag. Now theyre going to bed and my stomach is sick and its all in my head but shes touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now, let me go. I just cant look its killing me... and taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea swimming through sick lullabies choking on your alibis but its just the price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes Cause Im Mz Brightside Im coming out of my cage and Ive been doing just fine gotta be down because I want it all it started out with a kiss How did it end up like this it was only a kiss Now Im falling asleep and shes calling a cab While hes having a smoke and shes taking a drag. Now theyre going to bed and my stomach is sick and its all in my head but shes touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now, let me go I just cant look its killing me... and taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea swimming through sick lullabies choking on your alibi but its just the price I pay Destiny is calling me... Open up my eager eyes Cause Im Mz Brightside

Unthinkable

What we think... In our minds, our hearts, and our dreams. We all sometimes think the same things like whats gonna happen tomarrow? Or 10 years from now? Its unthinkable we never really know whats gonna happen, like take me for one I sometimes think about what will happen to me or someone else tomarrow. Every night before I go to sleep I lay in my bed and all my thoughts just rushes threw my head good or bad but we try not to think about the bad. The unthinkable is something we dont realize and some can be the reasons for our mistakes in our lives but we never put much thought in to them like some people will do or say stupid shit without thinking. I do have to admit Ive done stupid shit without thinking but like I said you live in learn even thoe in my honest opinion I really think this world and life is a bunch of bullshit that will never be clear... In our hearts do we really know? Do we really know who will we fall in with love in our lives? Unthinkable... hardly anybody ever thinks about that, love... you may all say you dont want it or need it deep down in your heart thats not true... yea love hurts we all go threw it and there is some people that cant take the pain but someone new will always come along. Whats really unthinkable in our dreams... what we dream is a mistery to ourselves even thoe some of them dont make sence only because our hearts try to tell us something we may deny it at times you'll realize that its true. Life is unthinkable and it always will be more like putting together a 2000 piece puzzle without looking at the picture... whats going threw your mind??

Fuck it

See, I dont know why I liked you so much I gave you all, of my trust I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents I threw all that shit out Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back thought, you could Keep this shit from me, yeah Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story Ya played me, she even gave you head Now ya askin for me back Ya just another act, look elsewhere Cuz ya done with me Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents I threw all that shit out Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back Ya questioned, did I care You could ask anyone, I even said Ya were my great one Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents I threw all that shit out Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jackFuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Whats fucked up...He doesnt care

Whats fucked up is that I love him and I never really thought that he would try going out with someone else... It hurts me cuz I thought me & him had something going on. Im so hurt at the moment how can he just do me like that?!! I tried my best for him but he rather go for someone less then me... This shit hurts Im like in love with him and he doesnt care he knows what Ive been threw thats fucked up for him to fuck me over like that. I honestly thought he was a good guy but I guess god fucking prove me wrong and I guess hes just like the rest of the guys that put me threw hell. Im fucking 18 I shouldnt be going threw this shit anymore. I still cant believe he asked her out its in my mind and I cant help but cry it pisses me off Im getting pissed just talking about it. I love him... thats all I can say more then that bitch ever will!!! I just know day he'll realized that he lost a good girl in his life... Im still in love with you...

Made to love you

This topic that Im trying explain is kinda complicated but Ima try to make it clear as I can. Im an 18 year old single girl that finds love in the wrong places Ive had my heart broken many times threw out my teenage years and there was one that hit me like bullet without a gun I was sad and depressed for 2 years it hurt me so bad I was at the point where I was gonna kill myself but all that changed.
There is someone new at my school who Im deeply in love with we're friends at the moment and he knows how I feel about him but he never really gave me answer how he feels about me. Ive never felt this way about anyone before yea he maybe younger then me but all that doesnt seem to matter to me anymore I love him and I cant help it. What hurts me the most is that a while back ago he told me about a girl that he was in love with and hes trying to get over her but they never went out. Im confuse cuz I see myself with this guy for the rest of my life but we're not even together so why is that? I mean yea we fool around with eachother alot but dosent really mean anything we're good friends and I dont wanna mess that up but he sends me mix signs so I dont know what to think and to make things harder he is so difficult!!! Hes really different from other guys thats what I like about him but hes so different you cant understand him me & my sister try talking to him about some thing and he wont give us a yes or no answer. He can drive me nuts but in good ways only makes me love him more... Hes everything I ever wanted hes got me crushing like a little middle school girl I feel 13 again lol! I wish I can see the future to know what will happen but who knows maybe we'll be together someday or maybe not I dont know that and he doesnt know that things just happen. Right now I dont wanna rush things I just wanna keep it as a friendship for a while even thoe it kills me like crazy that Im not with him. It sucks cuz Im like in love him.

Beautiful Disaster (Dedicated to the one person I love)

He drowns in his dreams...

An exquisite extreme I know. He's as damned as he seems. more heaven than a heart could hold. And if I try to save him My whole world would cave in it just ain't right... Lord, it just ain't right. I don't know what he's after... but he's so beautiful He's such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and laughter Lord, Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster? He's magic and myth As strong as what I believe. A tragedy with More damage than a soul should see.. But do I try to change him So hard not to blame him... I don't know what he's after... But he's so beautiful... He's such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster? I'm longing for love and the logical But he's only happy, hysterical. I'm searching for some kind of miracle Ive waited so long... He's soft to the touch... But frayed at the end he breaks... He's never enough And still he's more than I can take... And what I don't know, I don't know what he's after... But he's so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster? He's beautiful...

The Fear

I want to be rich,
and I want lots of money, I don't care about clever, I don't care about funny, I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds I heard people die while they are trying to find them... I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless Cuz everyone knows that's how you get famous... I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror I'm on the right track yeah I'm on to a winner. I don't know what's right and what's real anymore... I don't know how we're meant to feel anymore... When do you think it will all become clear? Cuz I'm being taken over by The Fear... Life's about film stars and less about mothers It's all about fast cars and passing each other But it doesn't matter cause I'm packing plastic And that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic. I am a weapon of massive consumption And it's not my fault it's how I'm program to function I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror I'm on the right track yeah I'm on to a winner. I don't know what's right and what's real anymore... I don't know how we're meant to feel anymore... When do you think it will all become clear? Cuz I'm being taken over by The Fear... Forget about guns and forget ammunition Cause I'm killing them all on my own little mission. Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner... Now everything is cool as long as I'm getting thinner. I don't know what's right and what's real anymore... I don't know how we're meant to feel anymore... When do you think it will all become clear? Cause I'm being taken over by The Fear