In my tiny box!!

I love playing in my tiny box... but I think being in that box kinda took over my life. Til this day Im still in it and the world goes by faster... I out grown my box and I need to come out of it I just dont know how... honestly Im afraid cause if do come out what if my life goes by twice as faster? I dont know what Im gonna do my fear is growing up to fast Im not getting any younger and time is going by so quickly it doesnt wait for you as much as you want it to. Im not ready to grow up yet I love being the crazy,wild,retarded teenager that I am. Even thoe I had a fucked childhood Im trying to make the best out of my life now. If could stay in my box I would but its getting too small for me and theres no bigger box but Ill sleep in it for now but I need you there with me...

R.I.P Michael Jackson

The beloved king of pop Michael Jackson died today of cardiac arrest tooken to the hospitol in a coma. Im hella sad cause Im a huge fan believe it or not I hella cried. When I found out me & my sister were in Mcdonalds at Wal-mart some weird random guy came up to us and said Michael Jackson died. Me & my sister looked at eachother like "what?" so she went on the web on her phone we were both like oh my god and started busting in tears. The king of pop will be missed and always remebered he was supposed to be making a come back in London it wouldve been a great show. Died at age 50 the golden heart stop beating...
Thriller & Off The Wall, best albums ever!!


Rest in peace Michael Jackson 1958-2009

Full moon

When the thorn bush turns white thats when I'll come home,I am going out to see what I can sow, and I don't know where I'll go, but I don't know what I'll see, but I'll try not to bring it back home with me. Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me, as you watch me wander, curse the power that be, cause all I want is here and now, but its already been and gone, our attentions always last that bit too long. In the Full moon's light I listen to the stream, and in between the sounds I still hear you calling me... but I don't know where I am, and I don't trust who I've been, and if I come home how will I ever leave? In the new life of love we will see the New Moon...

Teens & Sex

Okay BIG subject. I dont understand why all these little tiny bopper think its okay to be having sex when they are just teenagers in high school. I mean if you been in a serious relationship for a while and that person really loves you then maybe but if your gonna fuck then be fucking smart about it!! Another thing dont just go off having sex cause everyone else is doing it that is the most stupidest shit ever!!! If I told you to jump off a cliff cause everyone else is doing it would you do it? Come on where are the fucking brains here??! Doesnt everyone know how to keep themselves safe? Fucking HIV aids and other STDs are serious but you little tiny boppers out there think its a joke I have a famliy member suffering with aids right now and my famliy is scared for him its no joke would you wanna go threw that? Honestly I think its better to wait cause once you lose your virginitiy its gone and your never getting it back then in years later it turns into a big regret unless you marry that person you lost it to. Not just STDs that be serious theres also pregnancy. Okay another thing that gets me hella teen girls now a days are getting pregnant with no fucking job their baby daddys always end up leaving so now you got baby mama drama. What I fucking cant stand the most is girls on welfare to get on welfare the pregnant girl has to say she dont know who her baby daddy is and that just makes her look like a big ass ho. All these girls think is so easy taking care of a child well news flash its not its tiering my sister was 18 when she got pregnant and it was hard for her. I mean you guys are teenagers here HELLO!! Do you really wanna be a young parent? But like I said its better to wait then regret it...



Take this advice dont have sex cause you will get pregnant and die!!!!!!! NO Im hella joking you wont die haha!

What sucks

Its sucks when you like someone but there your friend and they only see you as a friend. Its sucks that there hella different then make you feel like your on a roller coaster and your doin like 50 loops in 30 sec. What else sucks is you cant tell them cause you think you might scare them off or sometimes if you do it fucks things up and I already fucked up by telling you. I hate that I stubble over my word when Im with you....I hate that you make me so sad but I still want you around..FUCK I wished you loved me!!!

We are the war

As I scrutinize every word, memorize every line I spit it once, refuel, re-energize and rewind I give sight to the blind, my insight through the mind I exercise my right to express when I feel it's time It's just all in your mind, what you interpret it a sI say to fight, you take it as I'm ma whip someone's ass If you don't understand, don't even bother to ask A girl who has grown up with a parentless past Who has blown up now to rap phenomenon that has Or at least shows no difficulty multi-task And in juggling both perhaps mastered his craft Slash entrepreneur who has helped launch a few more rap acts Who's had a few obstacles thrown his way through the last half Of his career typical manure moving past that Mr. kisses ass crack, he's a class act Rubber band man, yea he just snaps back Come along follow me as I lead through the darkness As I provide just enough spark that we need to proceed Carry on, give me hope, give me strength Come with me and I won't steer you wrong Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog To the light at the end of the tunnel We gonna fight, we gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march Through the swamp, we gonna mosh through the marsh Take us right through the doors All the people up top on the side and the middle Come together lets all bomb and swamp just a little Just let it gradually build from the front to the back All you can see is a sea of people some white and some black Don't matter what color, all that matters we gathered together To celebrate for the same cause don't matter the weather If it rains let it rain, yea the wetter the better They ain't gonna stop us they can't, we stronger now more than ever They tell us no we say yea, they tell us stop we say go Rebel with a rebel yell, raise hell we gonna let em know Stomp, push, shove, mush until they bring our troops home Imagine it pouring, it's raining down on us Mosh pits outside the oval office Someone's tryina tell us something, Maybe this is God just sayin' we're responsible For this monster, this coward,That we have empowered This is Bin Laden, look at his head noddin How could we allow something like this without pumping our fists Now this is our final hour Let me be the voice in your strength and your choice Let me simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise Try to amplify the times it, and multiply by six...Teen million people, Are equal at this high pitch Maybe we can reach alqueda through my speech Let the president answer a higher anarchy let him go, fight his own war Let him impress daddy that way No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our own soil No more psychological warfare, to trick us to thinking that we ain't loyalIf we don't serve our own country, we're patronizing a hero Look in his eyes its all lies The stars and stripes, they've been swiped, washed out and wiped And replaced with his own face, Mosh now or dieIf I get sniped tonight you know why,Cause I told you to fight.And as we proceed,To Mosh through this desert storm,In these closing statements, if they should argue Let us beg to differ As we set aside our differences And assemble our own army To disarm this Weapon of Mass Destruction That we call our President, for the present And Mosh for the future of our next generation To speak and be heard Mr. President, Mr. Senator Do you guy's hear us????!!!!

Knowing the facts

Okay today I feel very bothered on another web site I posted something that upseted some lady about 37 years old. She sent me a very interesting comment she told me that Im a very angery person and should learn to respect others. Okay Im not gonna say that she was a bitch but in a way I agree with her if anybody Im the bitch. Its true I do have alot of anger in me but one thing for sure I do respect others I was rised better then that cause I know my grandma did not rise me to be rude and disrespectful even thoe I dont live with her anymore Im still very respectful. I need all you people to understand what its been like for me and why Im like this. My grandparents rised me & my cousins for a couple years but Im living with my parents now. While growing up in Oakland it was like everyday was a war for me I got kicked out if my old middle school cause of a bad fight between me and this girl. Two of my best friends were shot and killed. As I lived there in my old street there was never a day where I didnt have trouble with someone. At age 15 I finelly moved to Lathrop for better living even thoes its small its better then where I grew up. I am now 18 years old and about to be a senior in my high school I hang with good people and trying my best to stay out trouble. But sadly my past still til this day haunts me and what Ive told you is only half of it. I think my problem is that I always try to blame the world for what happens I dont mean to be that way and by me saying all the time "fuck life" it doesnt really make me feel better. Sure, yea, I still go threw fucked up shit now. There was point in my life where I stoped believing in god cause I was very angery and I had no one to blame but him I see it different now. I really hope to feel better but as long as my past stays here I doubt it will go away. Its pain of lost Im going threw and Im still praying for my miracle hoping my life will change so I can finelly be a happy person.

If I offended anyone for any thing Ive ever written on any web page Im very sorry and if it takes me to delete it I will but please let me know in a respectful manner I love all yall and would never say anything to upset you! Theresa Babee* givin sum love and hopin to get love back haha

My new rap!!!!! (Thug Story)

Mizzy freak & Mike Jones!! Im like 5 foot 4 black hair 2 da floor yo shawtyz nevea thought I'd dream bout rappin hard core no I aint gotta gun buh Im alwayz at da club still live wit ma parents buh Im still a thug Im so gangsta u see me hustlin at nite wen Im out clubin Id be shinnin da lite. Mizzy Freak & Mike Jones rappin on da same track its a thug story tell me can u handle dat!!! I had a dream last nite I had high top Nikes, I had diamonds in ma mouth and diamonds on ma mic by da time I woke I was singin "Im on da roll" cuz ima young star rapper straight 2 da top yo!! U can call me Mizzy freak now Ima rap star! Bitch u dnt wanna fight me!!! In ma big ass white-t!! Its a thug story can u gimme dat! Wat! Wat! I wear big ass sweaters yo!! Wat! Wat! dnt test me bitch!!!! U dont wanna fight me!! In ma big ass white-t!! Bitch its a thug story can u handle dat!!




Haha I made this up myself took me a while I hope to really have this a track one day. If I do better buy it!! Ill be the best rapper out there!! What do you think?

The pain of lost... FUCK LIFE!!

As I sit there... Every morning after I wake up I open my window and cant help but stare outside alot goes threw my head at that moment. I really can not fucking stand one more minute if this shit. As much as I fucking hate life I learn to deal with but theres only so much I can take. Sometimes if I could I would I'll fucking stick my middle finger to this world, it needs a good FUCK YOU!! Ive been threw so much fucked up shit while growing up and people think its just me being a bitch that maybe part of the reason but if all you can understand what I went threw youll get off my ass!!! I grew up in the ghetto ass hood where people died on the streets everyday. I think about my life with my face down cause shit like this took so many of my people so I should hate the hood. I dont understand how people go threw shit in there lives and try to act like nothings wrong as much as I try to forget it stays here. So when I wake up day after day I think about my friends, famliy,and my childhood. Is this it??? I ask to myself whats the whole point in this so called "life" why does everyone saids that the fucked up things is life? NO!! Thats just called a fucked up life cause if thats life no wonder why so many people in this world are unhappy like me I am the most unhappy bitchy person ever. One day I heard this song that got me real hard and the video was harder "Hold on" by Good Charlotte it gave me a different look on how I saw things but not how I feel on life. This world is retarded and life is full of shit. Take some advice from the poor the ghetto ass troublemaker. Why are we fighting to live if we're just living to die??-Tupac

Psychic Believing

Uhh well it all started me & my sister went to Berkley a couple nights ago and we went to a weird looking lady that saids that shes a "mind reader" or "psychic" something like that but anyways I had her read me, while rubbing my arms she started crying. As I sat there wondering why she told me that my soul is dark and very unhealthy because of all the grudges I hold in my life. I was already freaked out because before I walked in she gave a strange look. That night me & my sister drove home with very awkward silence she did not look at me once and all Im thinking is "what the hell did I do?". Days later as I sit in the class room I wrote down everytime I was upset and the people Im angery at what a notebook I made I couldnt believe it. 2 nights ago I went to that lady again (by myself this time) I had her read me again and sadly it was the same but found something new in me she knew I was in love but had something interesting to say about it. The first thing she told me was that she sees 2 children from me & him. After I heard that I stoped her in the middle of all of it I was like "wo hold up too much". Honestly Im a big believer in psychics but what she told me blew me away and left me speachless. She said nothing about marriage first thing she told me was children so I got up in a hurry to leave but she wanted me to stay cuz she needed to tell me more that I need to know. I sat there thinking to myself "I do not like what Im hearing". Some were good and some were bad. In a way Im kinda having my doubts about the whole thing but since then Ive been having weird dreams about it but what scared the hell out of me was she said either way my future cant be change... "wow" thats all I had to say. Very creepy...

Beautiful? You decide...

Umm... wow, well Ive never really thought of myself beautiful (being honest). I feel a little uneasy this is kinda new for me never in my life was I told that... maybe its the pictures but I know for a fact that cant be me. I honestly think its retarded just cuz I take one good picture now at the moment Im pretty to everyone, so I guess its different in person right?? Thats the most stupid shit ever!! People should be liked for who they are not how they look... if looks are all you care about then FUCK YOU!!! And Im so fucking sorry that Im not good enough to hang with!! People shouldnt be treated like that we're all fucking humen. I try my best not to use the word "ugly" in my book cuz all my life Ive been called that and it hurts for people that dont understand it does effect us. Whats more fucked up is back then there were guys that never wanted me but now that Ive gotten a little prettier cuz Im older now they're all on me? I cant tell you how much people like that pisses me off. Everyone should be treated the same not like fucking shit because of how you look. So you know what for now on Im just gonna let everyone decide on whats beautiful and whats not cuz it seems like thats what all people love doing putting other down. Only god can judge me and I am me!! Im not gonna change cuz you want me to rather you like it or not Im beautiful no matter what you say!!!! I honestly think everyones beautiful, sexy, nice in their own way. Dont ever let stupid people tell you wrong cuz only god can judge you and if people wanna judge you cuz how you look then fuck them you dont need them. Just be happy for who you are and be happy for the good friends you have that dont judge you. Believe me those stupid people think they're hot shit now just watch in 5 years when karma hits them. 2 all my pplz u'z all sexy!!!

Karma

You spend your nights alone and she never comes home and everytime you call her, all you get is a busy tone I heard you found out that she's doing to you what you did to me ain't that the way it goes when you cheated, boy my heart bleeded, boy So it go without saying that should let the feeling hurt just a classic case scenario tale as old as time boy, you got what you deserved and now you want somebody to cure the lonely nights you wish you had somebody that could come and make it right but boy, I ain't somebody I'm out of sympathy see... what goes around comes back around

Mz Brightside (my situation with him at the moment)

I'm coming out of my cage and Ive been doing just gotta be down because I want it all It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this it was only a kiss. Now Im falling asleep and shes calling a cab While hes having a smoke and shes taking a drag. Now theyre going to bed and my stomach is sick and its all in my head but shes touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now, let me go. I just cant look its killing me... and taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea swimming through sick lullabies choking on your alibis but its just the price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes Cause Im Mz Brightside Im coming out of my cage and Ive been doing just fine gotta be down because I want it all it started out with a kiss How did it end up like this it was only a kiss Now Im falling asleep and shes calling a cab While hes having a smoke and shes taking a drag. Now theyre going to bed and my stomach is sick and its all in my head but shes touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now, let me go I just cant look its killing me... and taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea swimming through sick lullabies choking on your alibi but its just the price I pay Destiny is calling me... Open up my eager eyes Cause Im Mz Brightside

Unthinkable

What we think... In our minds, our hearts, and our dreams. We all sometimes think the same things like whats gonna happen tomarrow? Or 10 years from now? Its unthinkable we never really know whats gonna happen, like take me for one I sometimes think about what will happen to me or someone else tomarrow. Every night before I go to sleep I lay in my bed and all my thoughts just rushes threw my head good or bad but we try not to think about the bad. The unthinkable is something we dont realize and some can be the reasons for our mistakes in our lives but we never put much thought in to them like some people will do or say stupid shit without thinking. I do have to admit Ive done stupid shit without thinking but like I said you live in learn even thoe in my honest opinion I really think this world and life is a bunch of bullshit that will never be clear... In our hearts do we really know? Do we really know who will we fall in with love in our lives? Unthinkable... hardly anybody ever thinks about that, love... you may all say you dont want it or need it deep down in your heart thats not true... yea love hurts we all go threw it and there is some people that cant take the pain but someone new will always come along. Whats really unthinkable in our dreams... what we dream is a mistery to ourselves even thoe some of them dont make sence only because our hearts try to tell us something we may deny it at times you'll realize that its true. Life is unthinkable and it always will be more like putting together a 2000 piece puzzle without looking at the picture... whats going threw your mind??

Fuck it

See, I dont know why I liked you so much I gave you all, of my trust I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents I threw all that shit out Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back thought, you could Keep this shit from me, yeah Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story Ya played me, she even gave you head Now ya askin for me back Ya just another act, look elsewhere Cuz ya done with me Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents I threw all that shit out Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back Ya questioned, did I care You could ask anyone, I even said Ya were my great one Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents I threw all that shit out Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jackFuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Whats fucked up...He doesnt care

Whats fucked up is that I love him and I never really thought that he would try going out with someone else... It hurts me cuz I thought me & him had something going on. Im so hurt at the moment how can he just do me like that?!! I tried my best for him but he rather go for someone less then me... This shit hurts Im like in love with him and he doesnt care he knows what Ive been threw thats fucked up for him to fuck me over like that. I honestly thought he was a good guy but I guess god fucking prove me wrong and I guess hes just like the rest of the guys that put me threw hell. Im fucking 18 I shouldnt be going threw this shit anymore. I still cant believe he asked her out its in my mind and I cant help but cry it pisses me off Im getting pissed just talking about it. I love him... thats all I can say more then that bitch ever will!!! I just know day he'll realized that he lost a good girl in his life... Im still in love with you...