Hurt

Okay I am sad & upset at the moment... I was at a dance studio today with my sister and some of her friends around 9:40 they wanted to leave. Silvia asked me if I was coming I looked at her and I told her no that I was gonna hang out by myself for a while after she left I threw myself on the floor and I just had a break down. I have so much going threw my head that its stressing me out so badly. For whole summer all my friends been doing is calling me about retarded ass drama that I really dont wanna hear stressful enough and to make matters worst a couple weeks I got an email about the person I like that he did something hurtful honestly that got me real agery so ended up threwing my phone at the wall cuz I read my emails threw it now its broken in 2 pieces I need a new one. Not only that I smacked everything off my sisters kitchen table now all her glass dishes are broken. Im very short tempered and when Im drunk its worst cuz when Im sober Ill throw objects and when Im drunk Ill actually put my hands on you but Im working on fixing that. Next week Im going in to anger management to change for the better. Im also sad cuz I dont know what to do with myself Im trying to change but what it doesnt work? In the past I had problem of cutting myself on my arm & legs when I was stressed and sometimes I get feelings on wanting to do it but if I do I pull on rubber strings it helps a little...
hurtful pain will heel I hope.