Cousin love

Damn I havent been on this shit in hella long... Well so much has happened for better & worse but Ima talk about my change and whats up.

A couple months ago I wrote a blog for my cousin Trinidad aka Boo because hes going threw a depression stage and 24/7 I worry so much about him hes like #1 in my life.

Threw out the years when we were little we were close but than we drifted apart going in to the teen years. In February of this year my cousin Gina had a quince and he was in it, its been years since we saw each other later that night at the hall I notice how sad he looked so I sat with him and asked whats wrong he told about a girl that fucked him up and how he hates his life as we talked Im like oh my gosh Im listening to a guy version of myself we were the same exactly... we hella connected. Since than we got really close so close that there was nothing I didnt know about him and nothing he didnt know about me we called & texted each other everyday we become best friends my favorite cousin we had alot of trust in each other. There was times he would call me in the middle of the night crying because of this girl Ruby who treats him like shit (and I dont not like it what so ever) I hate hearing him upset so much that I start crying with him than he will start talking about death that his life is not worth living for and that will just break my heart because just the thought of something bad happening to him kills me. I did everything to try and help him it worked some what I got him to believe in himself and to take some of my advice. What hurt me the most was how bad he was fucking up in school because of that girl see, he was a G.A.T.E student with straight A's now there down to F's I would be on him about doing his homework & studying I did whatever I could...

So just recently him & my other cousins finally came down to Manteca to celebrate a weekend with me for my graduation I was so happy to see him again. The day was great but then later that night something happened that shouldnt have. Today it still bothers me and what Im about to say what happened next kills me but I have to get it off my chest cause Im at the point of losing it.

Since that weekend I waited 2 weeks straight for his call or something threw out those 2 weeks we havent talked and I got worried cause it was not like him so I tried contacting him but he was avoiding me so I had Falisaty & Rachel try and it was same. Im thinking "whats going on here?" I kept thinking that he was upset with me cause of what happened but it wasnt I was talking to my other cousin Marco (his brother) on facebook he told that hes been with his "ladyfriend" Im thinking oh hell no it better not be that broad Ruby when I asked him about it he didnt wanna tell me so I knew it after that I went on that bitches myspace and swore at her up & down left & right my reason for that was he told me so much about her that shes a fake & a user I didnt want that bitch with my cousin. Im really overprotective of him. He found out that night so he was blowing up my phone I ignored the calls than finally I answered we yelled at eachother he told me he wasnt gonna talk to me anymore I said he was stupid for going back with her ugh it was bad.

Ruby is his first girlfriend she dump him and ever since hes been so sprung on her shes such a bitch to him but she nice when she wants something from him than tells him fuck off after she gets it half of our family hates her cause what she does to him even his mom (my aunt) hates her.

The family tried telling him about her but hes in denial and I know girls like her so I know its not gonna be good in the end.

Sigh, After a while me & him made up than we fought again Im more hurt because we dont have relationship anymore he chose her over me after Ive always been there for him I told him "blood is thicker than water" but he doesnt give shit.

It makes me sad because I love him so much

and I always put him first before anybody

I would give my life for him or give

him a kidney and this

is what he does to me our argument was so

bad that I said he wasnt my cousin anymore

I cried myself to sleep that night.

We're still not talking today theres days I still cry about it even if I apologized we'll still fight because me & Ruby hate eachother now and as long as hes with her it wont stop. I promised her if she hurts him anymore its not gonna be pretty cause shes gonna deal with me!

Well this is me & him at the our cousin's quince, hes younger than me even thoe it dont look like it this is my favorite picture and its been my screen saver on my phone ever since.

I miss him, he was the only family member I was really close to I lost my best friend *kinda getting emotional* I would do any thing to have my booboo back we been threw so much together and the memories break me down. I miss the phone calls and the stupid texting during class his weird ass jokes and how he use to cheer me up. He was my reason to change I stoped all the bad and immature shit I use to do because he looked up to me. I dont want things like this I want back to normal I WANT MY COUSIN BACK!!!! No matter what hes always gonna be my favorite and no matter how old he gets hes always gonna be my baby cousin. I love him like hes my son sigh...

We were like Ginger & Bridget.

Our promised was if ones dies we die together

For Trinidad

I love you cousin... I remember being 15 years old going threw that same
depression stage you're going threw hun, I understand believe me it will get better...
Dont ever think no one cares about you cuz we all do, me the most.
I see me in you and I see the same pain as I soo much. Like I told you before
Im always gonna be here for you no matter what.
I know being your age sucks but Im gonna help you get threw this if
you fall I will help you get back up, I will save you if you drown.
From my experionce I went threw all that alone and its hard
I will help you... I love you


Fuck every body!! walk proud!!! God gave you those shoes to fit you
so put them on and wear them. I love you cuz

Bedrock

This is me & my boyfriends song... When we started going out this song will come on all the time than finally one day it got us heated.

It some what relates to us hahaha... He told me Nicki reminds him of me haha I dont think so.


Baby you know I can make your bedrock haha.

Tattoo

On 1/22/10 I got my first tattoo done. I got it done free cuz it was my dads good friend that did it for me. I handled it well like I said needles dont scare me but that buzzing sound was hella gettin to my nerves.
Well after 3 hours it was finally done and it looks hella clean!!!!



Everyone askes me what does it stand for?
The stars is a symbol of me making a wish and the reason why I put my nickname
because my word in "Babee" means pretty & sexy haha its also a unique spelling
its better than "y" or "ie". So it just stands for me making a big wish in
life in a sexy way haha

My exact words to you

What I some call my life hahhahha ;)

So alot people always ask me whats my story...

To be honest I really dont like talking about myself that much
yea I wrote some on myspace on my "About me" but Its not enough
for people to get to know me and since alot of my myspace friends view
this page I thought this will be a good opportunity to write more...


So here it is if you can handle it...


T H E R E S A B A B E E *

I'm 19 years young & I say rude, hurtful things. I speak my mind & say things without thinking. I usually hurt the people that mean the most to me without even realizing it. I'm simple..but yet so complicated all at the same time. I can be THE biggest cunt you've ever met or thee nicest person ever.
Life's a bitch. I'm just here to represent.

Was that bad?

I hate to say thats how I come out and thats how people see me

Those things are some what true... heres the real one

My name is Theresa but I have alot of nicknames like Mac Daddy, Mc Jones, Theresa Babee*, Gabe, Stanky leg, nae, Oj, Rave girl,Sceney, FRED, ect... Mostly all my friends call me Gabe cuz I make funny voices haha.

My birthday is 11/29/90 I hate that my birthday is in the winter time.

I love techno music I mostly love LMFAO!!!

I love piercings they are my passion I got 5 on me now but the total piercings I had is about 30 cuz some were redone I will be getting a tattoo done Im not scared of needles.

Im really anti social.

I care for animals & people

I have no respect for selfish, ungreatful, and stuck up people

I have the biggest anger issue than anyone when Im pissed I break & throw shit my bedroom mirror had to be replaced 4 times or if its really bad I cry all day.

The line I hate the most is "It is what it is" saying that is like saying "WHATEVER BITCH!!!" people fuckin know better than say that to me my friends know what will happen.

Alot of people say Im funny I dont try to be its just what ever I say they start laughing haha. Sometimes half of the things arent even funny haha

I come off as a bitch but Im really a sweetheart no lie

Im really artistic I can draw very well I will post my drawings on myspace & facebook soon.

Im in love with werewolves I always wanted to be one.

Theres only 2 people in this world that know me better than anyone is Falisaty & Domanic my sister & brother.

I dress random like for week monday girly, tuesday rocker, wednesday gangster, thursday boyish, friday jeans & t-shirt.

I love gay guys they are my best friends

So far with my love life... its really not a good one it never has all I want is someone that will drink monsters with me and thats ready to party at a Mcdonalds drive thru without a car haha 2 people 1 ipod Oh yeaaaa lol!!!!

My line to everyone is "Im someone you'll regret losing I promise you that"

Im 100000 % unique I have a very weird taste in alot of things Im more like the type of girl that sits in a hot pink bath tub over filled with bubbles,hair teased,bright hight lighter spiked 8 inch heels on, lime green dj head phones on my head, purple contacts & lipstick on, eating a cupcake with blue glitter frosting in one hand and a wine glass filled with Monster in the other while listening to Lady Gaga's "poker face" hahaha now thats a good life .

Fall for you

More then I ever did... And more then you'll ever know... It seems that I cant forget you... I tried but I think theres just big part of me that doesnt want to forget. To be honest theres days when I cant stand not being around you sometimes I just miss you so much I cant even take it. Ive fell for a couple people in my life but you its really differnt... Ive never wanted a person so badly in my life your so much like my own personal powerful drug to me more than my crystal meth. When I met you I hated you but never understood why its weird how that changes. What do I do now? Its just so hard standing here not doing anything and what I fear the most in the future is that your gonna be with someone thats not gonna treat you right or ends up breaking your heart and thats really gonna piss me off cuz I know damn well Ill never do anything like that to you. I know I can be a really an unsure person sometimes but Im sure I know how I feel bout you... Hun, I fell in love with you again and Im willing to wait one last time for you to realize the better person for you no matter what Im always gonna love you

The hardest thing ever

Words can never expain how I feel... Its like I wasted a year of my life. Everyday I ask myself "how can you deny someone thats willing to give every inch of their love to you?" I wish I can just forget and let you be a chapter in my book along with the hurt & pain but tha hardest part of me doing this is leaving you here. Im giving my apologies to you... Im sorry that Ive been a bother to you and for everything else. You'll never have to worry about me around you... If I see you I'll try to hold back the tears and not say anything not even a "hi" or a wave. Im also sorry that Im not what you want even thoe I did so many changes believe it or not Ive settled down. No longer do I drink & smoke and no longer do I party every weekend my wild days are done. Why?, why cant ever find someone to love who can give me that love in return? Why am I always the fool? Was the faith & destiny I saw & felt in us a lie? Am I stupid for believing it? Just because alot of people think Im beautiful what made me think you can be one of them? Tha last thing that I just want you to know if we say good bye today Ive always been true to you... No longer will I love you I'll try my hardest it will kill me but I'll try because waiting for your love is like waiting for rain in tha summer. No matter what you're always gonna have my heart even if you dont want it I can never back from you. After all the little things I did for you always keep in mind on why I did it...

So last night...

Was hella crazy!! I took falisaty to Oakland yesterday to show her where I grew up...
We went to my cousins apartment for a new years party when me & her got there where was already hella shit startin...
My cousins psyhco neighbor kept talking hella shit bout my other cousins down stairs. So everyone was just screaming at eachother down stairs & up my aunt recorded her to show the police.
It was embarrassing buh funny at the same time cuz when my cousin went outside I was yelling "fuck you too" just because thats all everybody kept saying lol and I said "fuckin fat ass hoe!!".


here it is... keep watching she takes her top off!!
and I wish that bitch said "fuckin mexican" again my aunt
was ready to kick her ass!! haha I have a ghetto family

if you think this is bad... this is the kinda shit I went threw growing up and what I was always around buh alot worst... for all you ppl that dont know.. What will you do if this is what you grew up to??